Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
