i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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