Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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