And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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