with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
