you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
