I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
