Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
