Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
