I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
