I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize