Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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