What did we do last night that was yellow?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
