once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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