my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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