I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They have beer where we have blood.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
