this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
