it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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