Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to calm my uterus...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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