We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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