Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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