I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
