..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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