If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
