Fuck appropriateness.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
