Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
