and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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