Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
