I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
