...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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