They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
