So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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