I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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