I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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