she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
