oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
