Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Quick, to the slutcave!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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