That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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