Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
