If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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