Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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