he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
