This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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