it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
