Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we made out on top of his cat.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
