oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
