Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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