Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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