I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
one two three fourrrrnication!
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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