did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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