We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
