Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
