I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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