so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
