The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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