perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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