weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
