how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
