So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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