mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She bit a glass in half.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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